A few weeks ago, Danielle had a guest poster who talked about a lie we have been sold about work-life balance. I’m here to talk about a different lie — which is somewhat tangential to what Mich talked about — that needs to be discussed.
Having to look younger, prettier, or, let’s face it, hotter than your age
Some would argue you’re definitely hotter, just not in the way the above sentence implies. Hello hot flashes!
It’s hard to know when this whole BS narrative of having to look younger than your actual age started, but it’s an impossible standard to live up to. What’s possible is investing in yourself so the “current you” and the “future you” exceeds what “younger you” achieved, which is considerable.
From school pick-ups and carpools for extra-curricular activities, to cooking, taking people to medical appointments, plus a job, that doesn’t leave much time for investing in yourself. This includes all kinds of self-care — laughing with friends, exercising, reading a book, etc.
Most of you (who identify as women) might continue to strive for a body that looks hot in a black cocktail dress on Saturday nights like the old days. You take different approaches to this endeavor, but nothing sticks and you end up back at square one. Your confidence has taken a toll because you should have enough discipline to make these changes given your success in life in everything else.
Does all of this sound like you?
If it was easy, you’d already have cracked the code by now
First, the good news.
You’re not alone in this struggle. You know this but it never hurts to reinforce it. Plenty of people struggle with carving time out for themselves, particularly women in the “sandwich generation”. There’s guilt and societal expectations around parenting, being a good adult child to aging parents, having a certain title at work, etc.
Next, the better news.
When you invest in yourself, better outcomes follow. Yes, you can reduce your likelihood of chronic disease such as heart attacks, strokes, Type 2 diabetes, etc. You can also increase your likelihood of better mobility as you age, which helps with staving off osteoporosis.
What you may not realize is investing in yourself leads to better relationships all around. It’s not the selfish endeavor you might think it is.
Jill, tell me more…
Physical exercise has been shown to improve sleep quality, reduce depression and anxiety symptoms, and improve cognitive function. These are all major symptoms of perimenopause, which can last anywhere from 6 months to 10+ years.
If you’re able to improve the above-mentioned items, that leads to a better you in how you show up for others. While you may be spending less minutes with others to create the space for you, the quality of those minutes with your peeps increases exponentially.
You’re also setting some key boundaries for yourself and for others in terms of what investing in yourself looks like — not just by talking the talk, but by walking the walk.
And now, the “bestest” news….
You can choose to be the hero(ine) of your story
YEAH, YOU! Just like the end of Sixteen Candles when Jake says this to Samantha when she’s thinking there’s no way he’s there to see her.
Most people in the “sandwich generation” have tried different approaches to investing in their physical health. It feels like a yo-yo. It’s hard to maintain momentum as you attempt to develop new habits that can stick for the long-term. Some thoughts:
Never think about how far you have to go. Think about how far you’ve come. Getting to the starting line of making a change is the toughest part.
You can’t get to a year of investing in yourself without getting through a day of doing it. Don’t let the duration of the work you put in get you down. Think forward.
Reframe the discussion around the activities you want to be doing for years to come, whether it’s traveling in Europe when you’re retired, being able to keep up with your kids and/or grandkids or aging in place.
How does all of this tie in with your personal brand?
I spent a good chunk of my post-college decade having a great time. I was doing all of the right things at work. That was my brand — accomplished and burning the candle at both ends. Investing in “me” was either going out hard with my friends or working 80-90 hours/week to get a promotion.
Yet I was in terrible physical and mental health. Fortunately a major reckoning didn’t need to happen to force me to reframe what needed to matter to me most.
It was hard. It wasn’t a linear progression either. Next year will mark 20 years when I decided to make investing in me a priority. Trust me, I have made ALL of the mistakes but moved forward.
It’s fascinating that people who didn’t know “Jill version 1” can’t conceptualize that person from 20 years ago who didn’t prioritize her health.
Yet somehow it became a huge part of my brand since then. To the point where friends and family started asking me about how to:
Find a safe program for exercise so they wouldn’t get hurt
Stay motivated when they have to get up at 5am to workout and it’s cold AF outside
Pack healthy snacks for “on the go” when evening schedules are chaotic with carpool pick-ups
Establish healthy boundaries with work and family in order to make times for themselves
What do you want to be known for?
I’d argue you can look and feel better, and hotter by extension through investing in yourself and the confidence that work brings.
Investing in yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It enables you to give in a more predictable and sustainable way. It allows you to be your authentic self so you can role model that behavior to others.
Fast forward to December, 2024….What change do you want to be known for making in the next 12 months? Whatever it is, I can help.
In honor of the epic decade of music known as the 80’s, I’ve got several holiday specials to “Get into the Groove”, starting at $99. From “Jump” or “What a Feeling” to “Eye of the Tiger,” there’s a package to get you prepared to survive the holidays and thrive as you Go Long.
Jill Beck
Working on her 3rd entrepreneurial venture (ambitious much?), Jill built Go Long to intersect community, tech, and wellness for the 40+ demographic. Something she knows quite a bit about.
She was honed in the cubicles of Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, Microsoft, and Tableau along with several start-ups. Now, she’s taking her B2B and D2C tech and finance successes — and failures — (because we all have them) and applying them to Go Long.
Jill loves taking an idea out for a spin to see what’s possible, leveraging her experiences in bringing concepts from written on the back of a cocktail napkin to commercial launch. She enjoys building and scaling organizations and getting, ahem, stuff done for companies of all sizes (currently a very small one)!
A born and raised NY-er and former Wall Street refugee (she got out when she could), Jill is now a mountain-climbing, weight-lifting, always-traveling, food and wine lover who calls the Pacific Northwest home. If you’re looking to make changes to your life that are going to stick, she’s your gal. Ready to Go Long?
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